Dreams

Okay, I know this is a little ridiculous, but I really believe that dreams can sometimes be trying to tell you something. Well off and on for the last 3 months, and straight for the last 3 weeks, I have been having nightmares. Like nightmares. Usually about people from the past, people that I really wish I didn't have to think about. I was looking into this more today, about what dreams can mean, because I am just weird like that, and I came across this girl talking about her dreams. I can't remember the website, I've been trying to find it again, but I can't. But she said something to the effect of your dreams being determined by your attitude, your actions, and your inability to move forward with your life. I'm starting to realize that this is exactly why I keep dreaming about the past, I haven't let it go yet. I keep thinking, maybe I can mend friendships from the past, maybe things can be the way they used to be. But I know, that isn't what I should do or what I really want. As my dad says "There is was a time and season for those people and friendships, and it's over now." I wake up throughout the night in tears, hoping that if I fall back asleep I won't dream the same things. But now I realize that I'm dreaming about these people, these past things, because I haven't allowed myself to move on. When everything ended badly with the friends I had for a couple years, and I hated that we couldn't be on good terms. I hate that when we see each other, we act like we don't even know each other. After everything had happened, I never stopped or had a chance to think it through, and get over it like I usually would. Plus, I had been avoiding the moving on part at all cost. How can you just get over friendships you have had for years? I can't worry about the past anymore though, it's holding me back. I love the way everything is going for me now, I wouldn't have it any other way, and it's time to move forward. Remember the good and bad times, learn from it, and move on.

Everything is starting to make sense. I'm sitting here, laying in bed, with the heater going, eating ice cream, letting myself finally let go of everything. It's so great, and just what I needed in so many ways.

Today has been quite a day, already, I've realized so many things that are putting me in such a better mood! Plus, the new Escape the Fate album is definitely helping my mood. :)

I love life! And I love all the new friends I am making, and friendships that keep growing and getting stronger. I have such great friends, and family! I'm happy. Life is good :)

P.S. if this doesn't put you in a better mood, I don't know what would!

Nacho!